Relentless Expedition

What’s in a name?

2009-03-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Everybody has got a name and so am I. As a young boy, I never wondered as to why my name is so tongues twisting for the only reason that I never encountered people who really struggle pronounce it correctly, or at least approximately correct.

I never wondered or worried when my teachers or friends in school used to murder my name and spell it like the way they want. Being lazy, I never bothered to explain them how to pronounce and I used to satisfy myself it is one another cession of my name.

That was my first class of engineering studies. It was mathematics class. The lecture hall was filled with heterogeneous crowd from all over the country. Every one was busy in making friendships. The professor, who had a old devanand look arrived with a big book in his hand. We all rose to greet him ‘Good Morning. Sir’. He greeted in return with his smile and asked all of us to sit down. As it was our first class, he asked all of us to introduce ourselves to the class.

I heard some names, cool, cooler and frigid (hard to pronounce).

Anil, Rajesh, Amit ( I heard about 6 of them with this name)
And suddenly…
Anamika (Professor guffawed and said ... so you are Anonymous! There were chuckles all over).

Now I seriously wondered for the first time ever, even the nameless (anamika) is a name and it is easily pronounceable.

Then came my turn. I said ‘Dhaunjaya’ in my normal low voice.
He asked curiously ‘What is it?’ I said again ‘Dhanunjaya’.
He asked me again ‘Sorry I didn’t get you’. I repeated ‘Dhanunjaya, Sir’. The whole class was staring at me (this happens always when a student is asked again and again by the professor. be it be a name or a problem).

For a moment, I was thinking why my father did not think of a simple name, but instead, gave me such a difficult name just because it was the name of my great grand father and my grand father insisted him on it!

And then I realised what is in a name! People say you can know how much other person care about you by the way they pronounce your name.. Hmm.. not in my case .. I should not blame others for my name being so long!!

Once, one my Tamil senior was calling me and as I knew that he will rag me, I pretended as if I didn’t hear him.

He came across me my way and shouted, ‘Eyy..ciranjevi!.. Didn’t you hear me calling?’

I said ‘No sir, I heard you calling, but didn’t think it’s my name!! ‘(He was calling something like Danujjoy, which I can understand only if I were drunk)

He said, ‘Ohh…!!Then I will call you DJ from now on, and you.. .’ pointing at three of my friends with me, he said ‘You will also do so.. Understand’. We said ‘Yes. Sir’ and moved on.

That’s how my name transformation took place. People found it easy to pronounce and write without asking me for spelling.

Everyone thinks it as my short name, but for me I feel it as my actual name! But I observed one thing, most of the times, people are called with short names just because the actual name would be tough to pronounce.. Here are some of them…

Venkateswarlu ( a very common name in AP ,called as Venky or babu)
Satyanarayana ( satti)
Chandrasekhar (chandu)
subbalakshmi(subbu)
GokulaKrishnan( Gokri)
Ramakrishnan(Ramki)
Shanuallah(Shan)

It was cool and calm, of course effortless being called DJ, though people mistake it for a Disk Jockey, the struggle started again when I joined an MNC and luckily into a project.

Please wait for the struggle to be explained in the next post….

-Dhanunjaya (DJ)

GRE - One Stop Source

2008-01-26T10:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, My two months hard work(?) paid off finally. Hope my score (1420) would land me in a 'good' university. I resurrect my blog after two months of shutdown.

Please help yourselves with the links velow.

http://www.soundkeepers.com/GRE/
http://www.majortests.com/gre/
http://library.west.asu.edu/refguides/grad-school/gre-samples.html
http://www.msguide.co.in/gre/downloads.htm
http://bdcube.wordpress.com/
http://www.univsource.com/vbbeta.php
http://www.msu.edu/~defores1/gre/roots/gre_rts_afx1.htm
http://www.nonstopenglish.com/allexercises/vocabulary/Vocabulary-work.asp
http://www.exambell.com/
http://www.vyomworld.com/gre/antonym.asp?prev=100&prevans=2&id=101&B1=Submit
http://studybeans.com/
http://www.postech.ac.kr/~gla/gre/
http://www.flashcardexchange.com/tag/antonyms
http://www.manythings.org/e/vocabulary.html
http://www.greexplorer.com/Free-Practice-Tests.html
http://www.drrajusgre.com/
http://gre-thread.blogspot.com/
http://www.maxmytest.com/
http://question-corner.blogspot.com/search/label/GRE
http://www.greprep.org/gre-practice-test.html
http://gretools.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/vocabresults.pl
http://gretools.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/vocabresults.pl
http://gre-verbal.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html
http://www.my-gre.com/?gclid=CLGB6I7Mk5ACFQEkQgod0zK2Ag
http://www.majon.com/testprep/strat-grev.html
http://gretools.sourceforge.net/20questions/
http://www.mygretutor.com/

RC ( My favourite section!)

http://www.firstscience.com/site/archive.asp
http://www.essortment.com/in/Philosophy.General/index.htm
http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/psychology.html
http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/psychology.html
http://www.sciam.com/
http://www.buzzle.com/chapters/archives-238.asp
http://www.urch.com/forums/archive/index.php/f-90.html
http://www.tcyonline.com/RCreading/index.php

Want more? First complete these!

-DJ

'Happy' Diwali ??

2007-11-07T08:19:00.000-08:00

This may seem to be another big story for you, but this was unbreakable.

A small, enervated boy, 10 years old, in a village near sivakasi, Tamil Nadu is having his bite hastily as his father yelling at him ‘It’s already late for work. Hurry up!’.
He completes his lunch and rushes to the work place which the fire-works and matches are manufactured. He has been an employee there for 2 years. You think ‘So early.?..His father thinks it is too late!’

On the way to his work place, he stood staring at a stout boy of a rich dad who was elated and started diwali celebration well before diwali. He does not know the reason for the celebration, but he is exulting at the light and the crescendo evolved by burning the cracker to ashes. He is not responding his mother, who is eagerly persuading him to eat. He was running away to lit another cracker and to see it vanishing into the skies. He was in new clothes and his father was advising him to be cautious. Soon, the boy (employed one) remembered that he has to run away to work for the reason that he may be castigated by his master for coming to work late.

There are many ‘Future Abdul Kalams’ working in the sivakasi suburbs working for paltry amounts of money. They are ambidextrous in preparing the so called ‘diwali missiles’ that he competes with his superior in wrapping the cracker. He is a studious employee (He never complains on work culture and increments). He watched the cracker made by him burning down to ashes and his rich counterpart ecstatic in the celebration. Does he need to be proud for that? Do we need to be proud for the ‘RocketChildren of India’? Or do we really have to concern for the poor children ?

Some facts

A quarter of the world's child-labour force is said to be in India, where poverty and the
lack of compulsory education make it an especially serious problem.

An Indian labour ministry survey says that one out offour Indian children between the ages of five and 15 is working Legislation in 1986 banned the employmentof children under the age of 14 in hazardous work such as glass-making , fireworks,match factories and carpet-weaving.

At Sivakasi in Tamilnadu state, about 45,000-50,000 children are believed to be working in the fireworks and match industries.

Sivakasi and neighbouring Sattur produce about 55% of India's matches. About 60,000 workers are employed by the industry. About half of the employees are below the age of 14, and some children begin their working life at a match factory at the age of five.Frequently child labour is employed at small unlicensed factories which are subcontracted by licensed ones.

About 90% of India's production of fireworks is at Sivakasi in both licensed and several hundred unlicensed factories. Most of the output is used on one day a year: Diwali, - the Festival of Lights. In the industry they say: "We produce for 300 days a year, we sell for 30 days, we sell in a rush for three days and the whole thing goes up in flames in three
hours!"

Many children celebrate the festival with mirth. But Diwali, is a just a non-working day for these children who are toiled and tormented throughout the year for paltry sums of money. ‘They make crackers for others and buy them for themselves too!!’

Final Solution?

Like many other serious problems India is facing, this is one more issue. But a peril problem as this will result in more and more differentiated society.

Just by avoiding children from work may not be a solution for this. The introduction of automatic manufacturing systems may reduce the child labour. However, the consequence which may leave lakhs of people unemployed is a cause for concern. The wages for the elderly should be in proportional to the profits made so that they can meet both ends.

The working conditions are to be monitored for safe working conditions and government should take stringent actions against them who employ children under 14.

This process cannot be revamped in moment. It happens gradually. We should show the same enthusiasm in helping the poor children renovating their lives as we buy the firecrackers come forward.

some links for you

http://www.freethechildren.org/getinvolved/geteducated/childlabour.htm
http://www.pangaea.org/street_children/asia/carpet.htm
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/10/061012-child-labor.html

comments welcome

A Party to remember

2007-11-04T04:02:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to the junta who came all the way from Newcastle and lightened the event. (Wish Madhu’s shopping continues…. )

Many dipsomaniacs, very few teetotallers who would take care of the later ones when they are befuddled with alcoholic overdoses and begin babbling, brilliant performances by the artists, my rookie pals from Newcastle, Venerated Veterans, belles clad in alluring dresses, fine champagne and wine and of course, everyone in bow-tie (Brook bonds), all these constituted the party which rocked the 380, Old street of the British capital.

It was the first time I wore a bow-tie ( one of my colleagues helped me to wear it). Everyone was exchanging compliments ‘Hey..you are looking great!!’ ‘Dude..You are bond..Brook Bond!!’. In fact I was elated for the event and to meet the animated junta from Newcastle.

We tried our photography skills at the hotel until the pmo guy asked us ‘Guys..Please move..The event gonna start’. Moved by his adjuration we walked towards the hall searching for 380 with a map in our hands. We were all marching as we frivolously bantered on our look and some one said rather aptly. ‘It seems like a new five star hotel has opened up today in London’s old street’.

Finally, we found it. On our advent, we were attacked by a group of photographers at the door who ordered us to give a smile. I tried it very hard to do so (so were my baffled friends) and few clicks we pushed ourselves into the ‘Bond Land’. A stout guy with a goatee with a grave look as if he has just murdered someone, who reminded me of Dr.Evil’s assistant in the ‘Austin Powers’ series greeted us. Still I think he was the same guy or it may be a hallucination (chemical locha) because of the carousal. The central room was redolent and exuded fete atmosphere.

It was a colossal building inspiring awe with the gold coated fille sitting on high stand at the centre and blowing bubbles into the air, the singer singing vigorously to catch the attention of the audience who were already on a song meeting everyone known and talk to them vociferously competing with the singer.

We were moved to the upper floor where there was a gymnastic show and the attractive arrangement, the virtual casino counters, the bond crew who performed the event of saving our exec from International Business Murderers (This is not my invention. It’s their Appellation for themselves)

The food was served and I remember I waited for the desserts for I could not eat that. My pals, who were vegetarians enjoyed the meal and one of them complemented ‘The tomato is very fresh..’ (Of course, he had nothing other than tomato to eat). Some of the bacchanalians (Including me) satiated with more wine and vodka. One of my desi friends, Dennis was holding fork on his right hand which is not in accordance with the table manners. So, sagaciously I said 'Dude,,Fork is to be hold with left hand..you know?' Then he answered promtly 'Yeah I know....But Iam a lefti..I cannot help it'. This is the best joke I ever heard.

Then we went to the dance floor where everyone was showcasing their ‘Kajrare’ skills. It was a gruelling task but we enjoyed in the company of some English belles who were also quaffed too much and rotating their heads in synchronous directions with their dancing partners like Zeenat Aman in ‘Dum Maro Dum…’. That was amusing. Then suddenly they started some bhangra steps by which we acknowledged that a desi song being played. I jumped out of the dance floor to avoid jumping on the legs of the dames.

Fatigue was working on me. I reched my limit of elasticity and was moving into the plastic zone. We headed to out hotel. I don’t remember what has happened after that. But, as I laid myself on the bed , the beauty who was dancing with me slowly diminishing from my site (Oh ..No..she is still there…Someone removed my glasses!!!). Anyways I told her ‘I am feeling sleepy..Meet you tomorrow)

That was ‘A party to remember’..The best one so far!!!

Cheers,

-DJ

Glossary:

Depsomaniac: A person who drinks alcohol to excess habitually

Teetotaller: A total abstainer.

Befuddled: confused, addled, muddled

Babble: A foolish talk, babbling like a child

Rookie: Ackward and inexperienced youth

Venerated: Respected, august

Veteran: Expeienced person

Adjuration: solemnly urging

Frivolous: Not serious in attitude or content

Banter: play joke on, badinage

Goatee: A small chin beard trimmed to a point

Redolent: fragrant smell, strong pleasant odour

Advent: Arrival

Hallucinaton: imagination

fille: dame, belle, young beautiful woman

fete: festive, eve, celebrating

satiate: satisfied, filled to the fullest

Sagacious: wise, with acute insight

Floor No 42 -- C A R O U S A L

2007-10-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

After a dry day at the office on last Thursday, we were all elated to rush to the Reading station to catch the train which was about to depart. It was waiting for the last whistle of the stout railway guard on the overcrowded platform just like a runner waiting for the pull of the trigger on a 100m sprint.

After exploring three compartments we comforted ourselves in the well-cushioned seats.
It was due to the dreary climate outside and the tranquillity in the coach, I caught a wink in no time. I was in a sopor until a racket from behind my seat (may be a chair, to avoid misunderstandings) disturbed me to the fullest. She was so vociferous that the announcements made on the train were inept in reaching her decibel level.

She was prattling with a co-passenger on the bollywood film ‘Krish’ and exaggerating the scenes comparing with some English movie. I never knew some one could so meticulous in observing things ..(that too a cinema),but it was painful for me to hear her all the way babbling. The crock continued with various happenings in bollywood which varied from casting couches, link ups of actresses with cricketers and so on. She appeared to me like bigmouthed Star News anchor who talks loquaciously irritating the viewers. I cursed myself of being extemporaneous and forgot my i-pod, which would have been a saviour for me at that time.

But the thought of champagne on 42nd floor kept me breathing. I rejuvenated when the train came to a halt at the Paddington station and we rushed out and down towards the underground. Finding the shortest route to the destination we moved on. We moved all along the labyrinth like subways and jumping onto the escalators moving in adept pace to that of a train.

Two stops on the vivid train moving with wind’s pace in the gloomy underground ways and we were at the Bank station. As we stepped out on the Broad Street, w could identify the sky scrapper with some life in it. Ha..thats the vertigo 42nd floor. I was dubious that it can be an IT office, but the lively atmosphere proved me wrong. So, we confirmed that it is the building we have to go to.

A well-built dark man at the gate greeted us with a smile, though his countenance reminded me of the bouncer at the lap dance bar. After a thorough security check as if we are boarding a flight, we headed towards the lifts moving through maze like paths. As we entered the lifts, I understood why we had a thorough check at the security gate. It had a big compartment with only two buttons 1 and 42. I pressed 42 which was the only and so obvious choice. It took almost 42 second to travel all the floors and the receptionist was ready with a smile to greet us (as she does to everyone!!). The bar was decorated with energy conserving lights, which were dim enough to contrast the alluring view of the City of London from the top of the sky scrapper.

Remaining in the next post….

Cheers,
--DJ

Hey Ram!

2007-10-04T03:20:00.000-07:00

"Some say there was a person over 17 lakh years ago. His name, they say, was Ram. And we should not touch the bridge he built. Who is this Ram? From which engineering college did he graduate? Is there any proof of this? Ram is a big lie. In fact, if you read the old literature, Ram was a drunkard and worse."

Any human who had watched the incessant telecasts of this crock by Mr.karunanidhi, the octogenarian realpolitik of DMK, Vedanti, the BJP leader who declared a fatwa on the old guy’s head and the ASI which filed an affidavit to say ‘Rama is an illusion’ , he would have screamed ‘Hey Ram!’ / ‘Allah!’/’Jesus’ or whoever is the god of your religion in the secular India.

Being a responsible citizen of India, one of the most powerful democracies in the world,
We should also be aware of the responsible use of the ‘Freedom of speech’ right. ‘Freedom of speech’ does not mean that one can commit the crime of blasphemy, not at least by the persons who are considered as the national leaders by the hoi polloi. Dr.Ambedkar would have included some more clauses to the ‘Freedom of speech’ in the constitution to restrain these crooks from talking so foolishly if he had thought that Indians would have to tolerate such politicians in the future.

No sooner Karunanidhi spoke those profane words which deprive the beliefs of the majority of the population in this secular country, before people could even guess the extent he got demented, may be because of his age, another VHP activist issues a fatwa against him and declared that ‘the person who brings the head of karunanidhi would be weighed against gold’.

BJP, on the other hand accepted the weapon from the old man and started protests all across the country. This is a much expected response from any Hindu who adores ‘Lord Rama’. With these happenings all around, a bemused common man is ignorant of the environmental and social those are the cause of concerns that prevent the sethusamudram project.

India is so secular that Muslims in Bangalore can protest and indulge the public in riots on the execution of the tyrant president of Iraq, Mr.Saddam and albeit the movie ‘The Davinci Code’ was made and screened in the western countries where the Christianity is more prevalent, Christian activists in India can remonstrate on the screening of the same movie.

But are Hindus who are a majority of the population and with whose age old beliefs and traditions have built the building blocks of the culture, which is deeply venerated by any part of the world an easy punching bag for these crooked politicians who does all these in sheer lust for power? Of course, any religion or any community should not be.

Whether it’s a majority or minority, people should not be deprived of their beliefs and their religion. Issuing a fatwa on the head of Mr.Karunanidhi is a bit too extremism, but it reinforced the way our politicians use the religion for politics. They should understand the real sense of secularism than merely adding a bracket and S (S) to form a new political party and to cash the beliefs of the foolish voters.

In light of all of these, if ‘Lord Rama’ is present on the holy land now, I am sure he would have supported the project if it is beneficial to the people and if it is socially, economically and environmentally helpful and if it would be of any assistance to build the ‘Rama rajya’ which is promised by every politician on his campaign for elections.

I lay here reading all the articles discussing same issue..’Hey Ram!’.

--DJ

C for Cricket

2007-09-28T02:23:00.000-07:00

I remember the day India lost to Australia in 2003 World Cup Final when I followed each and every match unconcerned for my CGPA going down below 5. I had to strive to cross the 4.5 mark to escape myself from being expelled.

I remember the day India lost to Minnows Bangladesh in a qualifying match in 2007 world cup when I cried with my unbeatable heroes who ruled the cricketing world for years with their fabulous performances.

I heard the sympathies as well as criticism all over as the Indian fan whose mind is as diverse as the country and whose thoughts vary from ‘performing pooja for victory of India’ to ‘performing cremation ritual for cricketers and abolishing their houses’. Some may call this dogmatism. Some may call this fanaticism. Some may say they do all these in frustration. In a single syllable word some may call them ‘Mad’. I believe that as the weight and importance for cricket in India and the fame that the Indian cricketers have established all over the years in the international arena.

And now at last my dream come true as the Indians were crowned the world champions surpassing the astonished ‘English’, staring South-Africans, shocked ‘Australians’ and finally outplaying the punctured ‘Pakistanis’ with a great finish to a great finale which resulted in ‘The Big Indian Win’.

After the struggling 2007 world cup campaign, no one gave India a chance to win, but the present and future heroes of Indian cricket disproved everyone with amazing victories in all the matches they played in T20 world cup. All of the matches India played got the cricket fan to the edge of the seat. The calibre, perseverance, sportsmanship and unity of young Indian cricketers with fire in their bellies paid off for making India –The World Champions as the so called ecstatic, fanatic, mad Indian cricket fan rejoiced himself with the flags weaving all around him and the roars of ‘India – Zindabad’ ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ slogans persist in his ears till the next T20 World cup (may be even more).

I do not understand the fundas of the learned cricketers who say that T20 is a shorter version of game and anybody can win without much of cricketing talents. But even before the first match of the T20 cup, every team knows the same and given the same conditions for every team, it is unarguable that the best team wins finally. So the simplest of the conclusion that a school boy form is ‘India is the best team and they won on almost all of the former better teams’. And I don’t think sharukh khan did much for the victory as the players know what it takes to ‘Win’ the game and not the glimpse of a film star on the big screen who was promoting his next movie.

The ever busy bangalore changed to an excited bangalore as all the fans enjoyed themselves mobbing all the roads and the cricketer’s houses congratulating their families and every TV channel recording the enjoyment all over.

With the energies and spirits pumped up, the young team India joined by the gurus ‘Sachin’ ,’Rahul’ and ‘Saurav’ will rock the kangaroos again in the impending series at home. I am all planned to watch each ball of the series and geared up for the tomorrow’s celebration of victory.

Go On India….

--DJ

Four Liquid stages of Life

2007-08-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

Iam in the third stage now..which stage are you in??

Cheers,

--DJ

Pappu SE Bangaya...

2007-08-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of my stint with the ‘billiards’ practice at the cafeteria and after increasing the radius of friend circle with other colleagues on bench and the sodexho staff, I finally got a call that I am locked into a project.

I did not know what the ‘lock’ means but was happy that I will have something to do. Incidentally and accidentally, seven of us from the same training batch joined the same project.

First two weeks were fine with most of the time reading the documents. But the actual struggle started after the sweet honeymoon of two weeks. I had to renovate myself as a good programmer. Now, I need to be hard-working from hardly working nature, as was in my old good college days.

It was the last day of august month. The only discussion everywhere, in chatting, mails and everything was ‘how much we are going to get actually to hand’. Everyone had their own perspectives and fundas (as we were able to get only zilch out of the Finance session at the Induction).

On the exciting last day, we checked the balance in the salary account. Though, everyone of us got the same amount, we could not resist asking each other..’How much??’ . On the spur of the moment, I decided to buy many gifts to my family with my first salary sparing a thousand rupees which my mom promised to donate to Tirupati Hundi. As I went on calculating, I realised the fact that I would be bankrupted the next day if I dare to buy gifts for all the 20 of my combined family. So I postponed that for later months.

I understood the HR word ‘Fun at Work’ as the days passed. Food at my Pilani mess was better than that at the cafeteria as I hate something hastily and return to work looking excitedly if the program has completed its run. I was an outsider in our room as I go early in the mornings (before anyone wakes up) and return late in the night (Sometimes next morning ...After everyone sleeps) On Sundays (If there is no work), my friends (room mates) were feeling as happy as relatives feel on the release of their kin from a jail.

I continued to work because I liked to (of course I have to). On one fine day, we were called to a meeting by my manager. I thought that it would be the routine status meeting as how far/near from out timelines. I cannot believe my ears when she said ‘All of you will be leaving to UK the next month’.

I was ecstatic, joyful and had a feeling that I was the happiest person in the world at the moment until Dennis asked us in a serious tone…’Man, I have just shifted my house. What should I now?’. Then one of my friends replied ‘Abey pure jindagi ke liye nahin jarhe hain…bus do mehine ke liye’ (Buddy..we are going there only for two months..)

I called my parents and was lost in thoughts until my Team Lead asked me ‘DJ..Is that issue resolved?’. I replied ‘Haan..Ho raha hain’ (Yeah..Its going on!’). Then after a month, I had my first flight journey by flight, reached UK and became a mere observer of the shifting sands of time.

With my eyes wide open, I am waiting for my promotion and also for the compensation letter for the next financial year. Hope this time I can carry gifts to all of my friends and relatives. :-)

Cheers
-DJ

A P P R A I S A L

2007-08-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

There was a contest in an MNC to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line " *On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station *"
This is what a guy wrote for the contest..... .. and surprisingly, it was adjudged the *best short story : *))

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase *"**A** ppraisal **L**etter"* on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experien! ced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!! ! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind...... ... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Cheers,
--DJ

Bhagat Singh – The Legend

2007-08-17T04:00:00.000-07:00

One evening a boy of three was out for a walk with his father. There was also an elderly man with the father. Chatting they walked on and went beyond the village. Green crop delighted the eyes. The elders were walking along the edge of a field.

Not hearing the footsteps of the boy, the father looked back. The boy was sitting on the ground and seemed to be planting some thing.

The father became curious."What are you doing?" said he.

"Look, father, I shall grow guns all over the field" was the innocent reply of the boy. His eyes shone with the strong faith that guns would grow in the field. Both the elders were struck with wonder at the little boy's words.

The boy was Bhagat Singh who later fought like a hero for India's freedom and sacrificed his life.

"The aim of my life is to fight for India's freedom. I don't wish for worldly pleasures. At the time of my Upanayanam (the initiation ceremony among the Hindus), my uncle had taken a sacred promise from me; I promised to sacrifice myself for the sake of the country. Accordingly I am now giving up my own happiness and going out to serve the country."

"If the deaf are to hear, the sound has to be very loud. When we dropped the bomb, it was not our intention to kill anybody. We have bombed the British Government. The British must quit India and make her free."

Even on the day of their hanging they were fearless. They were cheerful. They competed with one another to be hanged first. It was decided that first Sukhdev would be hanged and then Bhagat Singh and finally Rajguru. All the three climbed the platform. Kissing the rope, they themselves put it round their neck. They died with the name of Bharat Mata on their lips. Such was the end of the three champions of freedom.

JAIHIND

Indian Independence Campain Posters.

2007-08-16T03:01:00.001-07:00

As partition looms, illustrator EH Shepard (of Winnie the Pooh fame) depicts the mainly Hindu Congress organisation and the Muslim League as two elephants ignoring each other in a 1946 cartoon for Punch.

This 1928 poster condemns the Simon Commission sent by London to look at India's future because it had no Indian members.

From the 1920s, Congress advocated the boycotting of British goods and the embrace of swadeshi - the promotion of Indian products and traditional technologies.

This poster shows non-cooperating Indians sitting in a tree as a soldier tries to shake them out and Mahatma Gandhi sits by serenely.

JAI HIND

Independence Day

2007-08-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the night, I was watching the bond movie ‘Die Another Day’. I was more impressed by Halle ‘Berry’ than the stunts of Mr.Bond. So I was changing the channels (1 to 5) impatiently and looking for any other programme. The documentary ‘The Day India Burned’ was about to start and as I did not know about that disaster, I bonded Mr.bond to Halle Berry and bonded myself to BBC2.

It may be because of the media I have been watching from my childhood which portrays villain as a Pakistani and the hero..(Sunny deol, Bala Krishna or whoever) tries to confronts enemy by landing in a well occupied mansion of the villain in Pakistan with a parachute or rushes amidst the burst of tankers on the border. It may be because of the anxiety which occupies me during a cricket match between India and Pakistan.

‘I had many Muslim friends and I did not understand why we had to separate. I still don’t now…’

‘ British could only draw a line intersecting Punjab for partition, but each dot on the line had to be drawn with blood of Hindustanis on the walls built with the corpses of innocent people.’

‘It was all smiling for the leaders attesting the proposal for partition, but people who suffered knew what it takes to depart from the motherland and hearts of many living in harmony’

‘Lahore was well known for its cultural and religious harmony, but after partition it became well known for communal violence’

‘Even now I cannot control myself when I think of the atrocities of man over a man and no body showed any compassion. Is this defined in any religion?’

…These words from a 70 year old man of Punjab with his sorrowful eyes, who went on explaining the events of partition, moved me.

Happy Independence Day for Hindustan.

My Experiments at Newcastle - Tennis

2007-08-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

Not being inspired by Wimbledon, not to become RAFA II and of course not to participate in the impending US Open tournament, but only to reduce my gradually growing waist coa(s)t because of all the tempting burgers I have been eating since I landed here on this burger land, I decided to put on my sports shoe and start playing tennis.

Of course the Indian (hyderabadi) Tennis star Sania mirza also inspired me a bit as we were fervently watching her play in the packed common rooms of our hostels at BITS. One of my friends was even more enthusiastic about Sania (her play) that he started a community on orkut and pestered every one of us to join it. Just as we have our company’s wall paper all the time on our desktop, he used to have the picture of Sania (He used to change it as per his mood..but nothing except Sania).

We decided to play at evenings after six o’clock at the public tennis nets (after the office hours). We started our play after waiting for fifteen minutes to find a court. We were four of us and we started playing doubles as we would be exhausted if we play singles for an hour or so.

As an amateur, I was more like a ball boy as every shot of mine went directly on to the net. Sometimes I thought I should be playing cricket after hitting a ball so hard that crossed the fence in one big loop. I also had my embarrassing back hand shots which disturbed people playing on my left and right. I was not the culprit of all these but my senses which diverted my concentration from facing a serve to staring at a girl (age: more than fifteen by looks) playing in the adjacent court.

After some days of practice, I got the technique of play correctly and showed my expertise by winning games for my team with aces (unintentional good serves which beat the sleeping opponent) and some good returns (accidental collisions of the tennis balls with my racquet). I used to be very lazy on the court as well and as my friend keeps on counting 15-30, 30 all and so on, on any controversy about the point, I used to say ‘teek hain yaar…Point lelo!!’

Once, I was playing with my highest concentration and each return was going perfectly. A girl in short skirts appeared on the adjacent court and right opposite to me. As I was lost in looking at that girl, I could loosely hear my friend shouting aloud from the opposite end ’15-40 Serve’. He served and I was woken up from dreams as the ball hit me precisely just below the abdomen and I remained speechless succumbed to the pain. I laid myself on the ground as our opponents were celebrating their point. My partner rushed towards me asking ‘Kya Hua??’ (What happened?). I answered slowly swallowing the pain ‘Mujhe kya pata..dekhna padegaa!!’ (How can I know..I have to see!!’). This time I could clearly here my friend saying ’30-40 Serve’. It took me a day to recover from that fatal blow.

Apart from the game, I used to play attention to the drolly conversations on the courts. They were normal during the game, but hilarious when you relate them afterwards. These are some of them.

-That is my ball.
-Their racquets are so good that the balls rushes away as it touch it.
-We have reached the break point.
-Can we exchange our racquets?
- This racquet has very soft strings. It should have been much stiffer.
- This ball is too hard. That one is soft, fun to play with that.
-Why are you hitting my balls? (Aggressively asking partner on his/her misplay)
-You will not be given a chance after a double fault (be successful at least in the second time!!)
-I have only ball (the other one asks ..where is the another one then??)

In all the above conversations, ‘ball’ means tennis ball and ‘racquet’ means ‘tennis racquet’. I cannot help if you have found other synonyms.

And now it has become regular pastime for me to play tennis for fun and for exercise.
So, find your racquets and balls and start playing with the blessings of Sania Ji.

Cheers
--DJ

New Simplified Tax return form for 2007-2008

2007-08-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

Cheers,

--DJ

One year with my dream company - session two

2007-08-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

Each day after the somnolent post lunch sessions, we used to walk the way to the Majestic. We, one on each day on the shift basis, used to make the traditional rajnikanth stunt to reserve a seat in the bus to B.T.M by placing our books on any of the available seats hiking through the window. It was necessary as we have no energy left to travel standing all the way for two hours.

And it was a real scuffle to enter the bus as the crowd rushes madly through the door less entrance. The days at the company accommodation were peaceful. But we faced the real struggle when we went on to the busy streets of Bangalore searching for accommodation. We went on watching each advertisement attached on the walls, trees, news papers and calling the owners. We were swindled twice by the so called brokers and decided not to approach any such person. Finally after an exhaustive house hunt, we settled in a PG house at one far end of the city which is a two hour journey from the training site. We were approved ‘Fit to Survive in the silicon city of India’.

Our training has started well. I felt that we were left to graze on the ‘Green Field’ and most of us were busy with the business work of filling the bank forms, PF Forms, hutch card applications, more and more orkutting. We were very busy in all these and only few of the sessions can gain our attention as the presenters went on reading the slides thoroughly. We had good fun at work.

It was very tough on deciding which technology to choose. Each person has his own thoughts and perspectives on the technologies, boom and so on. I used to get convinced so easily for a technology and after asking so many people and each giving his own ideas, I ended up in singing ‘Main Aisa kyon hoon!!’ . I would have preferred to choose all of the above but I was afraid I would remain in training throughout the year.

Though it was so hasty, the training was up to the mark. The best part was during the exams, in which the democracy was flawlessly implemented. We worked collectively even from the training to deliver the high performance and everyone scored distinction. Unless you are absent for the test and retest too, it is hard to fail in any of the tests. Sometimes, we had the answers for the exams (multiple choices) though we do not know what the questions would be!!!

Training ended and some of my batch mates joined project various delivery centres. I was still in high spirits waiting for my day to come (better way of saying I was on bench). I took the opportunity to learn and practice the pool game in the cafeteria. Had I continued it for three more months, I bet I would have been a strong contender to Nikhil Advani. I was sure that this time I will be the winner at the company’s sports meet. Every worker at the cafeteria used to recognise me well as I spent watching India v West Indies matches. But sometimes their glances implicitly made me feel as if they are asking ‘Kuch kam nahin hain kya..?’

Even orkutting was boring in those days and I felt detahed in the room as my roommates were discussing about their team.

Remaining .after the break….

Cheers,
--DJ

One year with my dream company - session one

2007-08-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

I have been receiving mails from many of my fellow ASEs (well known as JSEs) on our one year completion. The voyage has been full of ebbs and tides. Due to my excessive extra curricular activities at BITS, pilani I ended up in this company . I still remember the incident when I told my parents that I was placed in this company, an uncle of me , who knows a little and behaves as if he is only next to Einstein exclaimed in wonder ‘I never heard of this company..Why did not you join Infosys or Satyam?’

I still remember this company's campaign at BITS. They had set up a stall at Oasis (cultural fest at BITS,pilani) which had a prototype of a part of golf course and attracted the students who pass by to try out their golf-ing skills. One of my juniors asked me innocently or it may seem foolishly....’ Bro..Does this company produce golf sticks??’. But that may be due to the advertisements in which they show more golf than anything else. It was a great effort for me to explain him about This company as I too knew very little though I was placed in the company a month back. I remembered all that I have prepared on This company to explain him what the company is all about.

We received our offer letters and T-Shirts on the big stage of BITS auditorium (we call it Audi). It was 2 A.M. in the morning and the crowd (Including me) was eagerly and rather madly waiting for the ‘Parikrama’ show and as the main sponsor for Oasis, this company was given the stage for half an hour. I remember when I went on to the stage as my name was called (In a confused way as always). The audi was roaring with thunderous claps and I felt as if I won the genral elections for the pilani constituency. One of my friend, who had too much of drinks at the Dhaba was already there in a drowsy state. I thought he would fall at once on the lady who is distributing the offer letters and told him in an undertone ‘Abey sale…aaram se’ (Buddy…stay cool !!!).That was first and last experience for me on the BITS stage, but worth a million pounds.

And after that I went to hibernation for six months, the period in which I spent mostly sleeping and playing baddy in the evenings. I also started reading novels during this time and I remember it took two months to complete my first novel ‘The Davinci Code’ and the movie was also released by then.

We were eagerly waiting for our day at This company and becoming a tiger. Our Induction sessions kicked off on 02-Aug in which I felt it was the food that was better than anything else. The sessions were so boring as they kept chanting Do this, Don’t do that, Don’t do this, some high funda words like effectiveness, efficiency, input, output, self motivation, core values of which I got zilch out of it. And each time they stated the phrase ‘You are no more students..You are professionals now’. And one of my friends told me yawning ‘Abe maloom hain yaar..Isliye to yahan aaya hoon’ (Yeah man..I know …that is why Iam here).

They were nice sleeping sessions after the lunch as almost all of the class were drowsing. Even the fun games by HR cannot stimulate us to pay attention to the session. But we were regular in clapping after the end of the each session thanking the presenter for s(h)aving our day . It was not the laziness ..It was actually the inertia that made us to do so. Then I understood the meaning of Newton’s 1st law of motion in a way applicable to us…

‘An object at rest tends to stay at rest though acted upon by an unbalanced force.’

‘We are not self motivated and cannot be motivated by external forces too’

…..Wait for the post lunch session...

Cheers,
--DJ

ILLOGICAL

2007-08-03T03:27:00.000-07:00

A Student secures lower grades in the externals, after looking at the mark sheet he asks professor.

Student : "Can you answer any question ? " .

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

LoL
--DJ

2002 - A Love Story

2007-08-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

This post contains experiences of my old friend at BITS, Pilani who, like many of the boys was a scapegoat for love and finally ended up as a Bhayya (Brother...). The Characters and the scenes described are undoubtedly true and I do not mind if you find some resemblance of yourself or your story.

He was a typical guy with untypical intentions towards life. He was a fundoo guy and has a CGPA of 9.7 (common dream of a STUD at BITS) in his first semester. He was a born thriller and was ragged by many of our seniors. This guy used to come after being ragged for three hours or so and declares aloud in the wing ‘Hey I had a good interaction with seniors today!!’ And we always enjoyed commenting this drolly fellow for his ‘inter actions’ with the seniors.

Then, one among his weirdest ventures was love. As he gained a reputation of ‘Ten Pointer’ by his CGPA even among the members of the weaker sex, he was chosen by one beautiful girl (she thinks so..) to be her ‘friend’ as well as her prey.

Within few days after this he unveiled his bizarre side. He used to go over the top when he encounters with the girl cracking poor jokes and laughing just like sidhu does on Laughter challenge show. Once, it occurred to me as if he is under going laughing therapy as the old people laugh deafeningly at the city parks early in the morning. He used to reserve seats in the class an hour before the class starts just to sit beside and talk to her. And after the class, he used to stay in the Faculty Divisions until 11:00 P.M. (time when girls hostel closes) and took private tuitions for the girl and all her batch of friends.

Her name starts with ‘D’ and our superman was particular in purchasing all items starting with that letter. T – Shirts with letter ‘D’ engraved on them, Dove soap, Dabur hair oil and the list go on. He used to hear to love songs in strident volume whenever possible disturbing everyone watching night movies calmly. He was so obsessed with chatting that even when orkut and yahoo messenger was banned he devised new methods of chatting. We were literally pissed off with his acts in the wing and gave him a nick name starting with D..‘Dicker’.

It was the last week of the second semester of our second year. Our hero’s CGPA was swinging like a sine wave as he always lost in her thoughts did not give a damn about studies. We, all of us wingies went to connaught (happening place at BITS...) to have dinner. This guy, who already said he was not feeling well, appeared there smiling with the girl and her batch. One of our friends went to him and said with a heavy tapping on his back ‘Dude, How is your health? Get Well Soon!!’ and we all were laughing incessantly.

We were discussing among ourselves in our own mc/bc language and were observing our hero. He sat smiling at the girl while they were busy in eating and ordering some more and she responded with a smile or exaggeration of his ‘fundooness’ at regular intervals. Her friends were so busy in eating that they did not even give a damn about this guy. That scene reminded me of ‘The Luncheon’ by Maugham. They were ceaselessly involved in eating while he was staring at the completed dishes worrying about the bill.

In not more than two years after his endeavour in love, he transformed himself to six pointer from ten pointer. He used to chat till 3 A.M. and then sleep till 3 P.M. We gradually forgot him as the member of our wing. We felt as if he is suffering from a severe mental ailment when he used to talk to himself sometimes. We felt that Love is not only blind but also mad. But he kept on singing his favourite song ‘Chahe koi mujhe jangli kahe…’

Finally on one fine day of our last semester, our hero was all set to propose to her and called her on dinner at connaught. We were all also excited to know the fate of our poor buddy. At 11:00 P.M. after the girls hostel was closed, he came to wing and we were as usually watching some new telugu movie with the pirated disk which travelled to pilani all the way from Hyderabad.

As he entered the room, we were all keyed up to hear his words. He laid back in the chair and with his face covered in his palms. He did not say a word for ten minutes and we were again lost in the movie. Suddenly, he spoke in a gloomy tone ...’ Chal be..Dhaba chalet hain....’ (Come..We will go to Dhaba). Though we were not so interested at 11:00 P.M because of the reason that hostel warden may catch us, we acquiesced to go looking at his cheerless face. After one hour at the Dhaba, as we pestered him on explaining what has happened, he told everything in one sentence ‘I tried to be Will Smith in Hitch but she ditched me’. Even though this he insisted her to take her own time on this, she insisted back that we can remain ‘best friends’ forever. After a month or so he got an e-mail invitation for her marriage. We advised him go on celebrating his ‘friend’s’ marriage as he is a virtual brother (Bhayya).

It was not a bolt from the blue to any of us as we were expected the same response.
Though his academics went low beyond his calibre, he managed to get a good job and now geared up again to start ‘Hitch II ‘. God save the guy again!!

What is the moral of the story?

Brave heart transformed into a broken heart.
When you try to make ‘hitch’, the other ditches.
Love is injurious to health.

If you have got some more morals from the story, please put that in the comments sections.

Cheers,
--DJ

PS: After reading all this you may find it as a testimnonial/writeup for this guy and yes you are right it is...

Harry Puttar

2007-07-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

Bollywood filmmakers are really excited about Harry Potter. A number of remakes are being planned, all of them hush-hush. Let's take a sneak peek into the scripts...

HARIBHAI KA SURROR - the movie, the real luv story.In this pathbreaking creation of modern cinema, Haribhai Topiwala is caught in a love triangle with a 7-year-old and a 30-year-old girl. The plot is totally filmed in Germany and includes scenes like his arrest (on allegations of child-molestation) and a sting operation - in between songs and item numbers.

KASAUTII POTTER KAY - Khari Potter is the youngest family member of the family. This TV series (telecast also in South Asia, America and Central Africa) is a 34000-episode- long saga of how Khari Potter manages to see through the politics of the Potter family - the vamps, the cousins, the aunties, et al, alongwith his wife and kids.

KABHI HARRY KABHIE POTTER

The plot: The whimsical Harry Malhotra (guess who, SRK!) goes to Hazamgadh school of Pottery and Gardening. He's the elder son of the billion-dollar scion and owner of the Malhotra Group. At Hazamgadh he falls in love with the Harmeet (Rani) - the daughter of the chief potter. The rest of the plot is self-explanatory. (How can it not be, if it can be summarised in 10 minutes!)

VIVAH LA POTTER

The plot: Prem Puttar, in love with lady Harminder Kaur, marries her.

H COMPANY

The plot: Harwinder aka Harrybhai (played by a debutant actor from nowhereland) is a newbie at Hogwards school of Guncraft and Gunnery. He gets involved into a fued over a lost AK 47 with the local goons and later on joins a rival underground faction. While his rise as Harry the Don and his inception into the H company, he manages to falls in love, jump off the Hogwards Express and survive and keep his enemies at bay.

Cheers

--DJ

My Experiments at Newcastle - Birthday Party

2007-07-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

Since I started this blog, the hits have gone so ballistic (not so great though!) and encourage me to continue writing. But due to piling up of my regular work these days for which the company pays me, I was handcuffed for a while.

The worth mentioning memories of the best old college days are the ‘Birthday Celebrations’. Birthday of my colleague celebrated recently remembers me the old days excluding the violent stuff of hard hitting.

It was a Friday, and it was a small drizzle outside as we moved setting up the environment for the feast. Everybody just released themselves from the ‘round state’
as we moved from the office. It was 6:30 P.M as we reached the flat. We went all the way walking to Tesco to buy some soft drinks, hot drinks and some crisps. Had we have to go to Tesco for milk or other groceries, we would have found many reasons to procrastinate it.

The rain was pouring down as we were returning home, but the ambitious notion of enjoyment tonight surmounted all the difficulties to walk back in the heavy rain. As we arrived at the flat, everyone was dressed up for the occasion in traditional angrezi (English) style (Sorry…No woman’s dresses and all….!!!). We were carousing ourselves until one of our friends shouted ‘ Abey..aaj iska birthday hain…!!’ (Hey man…Today is his birthday!!). We then realised that we are enjoying ourselves without caring for what we have come and the birthday boy was just staring at us.

As my friend proceeded to complete the cake cutting stuff and everyone started singing....’ Happy Birthday to you!!’ I too joined them. But I do not know anything of the birthday song after three lines. I was waiting just to move my lips if anyone try to complete the song. But, none did and everyone was staring at all others. Then to avoid the embarrassment we started the song again from the beginning and sang the same three more times and we all wished him ‘Happy Birthday’ again.

It was after that everyone exposed their dancing and singing skills which included varied steps of ‘Kajra re’ to ‘Kathak’. And singing as loudly as any pedestrian can hear us from the eighth floor where our flat is on. Everyone was in ‘excited state’ as the energy levels kept on soaring. As the sun went down sleeping slowly down the heights of the concrete jungle, the Tyne Bridge stood like a numb giant looking at the small creatures all around it. The view was marvellous.

It was more like a parliament as everyone shouting out. Some of the words I still remember thanks to my consciousness after so much of quaffing are ‘ Tu Mera Bhai Jaisa hain !!’ (You are like my brother!!), ‘Main tere liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon’ (I can do anything for you), ‘Abey..Abhi Blu Bambu Chalte hain’ (We will go to Blu Bambu now!!..Blu bamboo is one of the renowned pubs in Newcastle), ‘Mast maja aaya yaar!!’ (Oh..We enjoyed a lot). I remember myself saying ‘Mujhe hyderabadi chicken biryani chahiye!!’ ( I want Hyderabad chicken biryani.) and some A+ jokes which I would not like to share for the sake of normal viewers (If you want them, you may mail me ;-).

We were all totally exhausted after so much of dancing/jumping. I tried hard to open my eyes but my eyelids were closing with equal and opposite force. I realised that I am back to the ‘ground state’ and it is time to go to bed. As we moved out to go our apartments, one of my friends was still singing aloud and I feel that pain my ears even now (Himesh was better than this guy!!). All of us got into the lifts, everyone was so feeble and one of my friends sat on the floor after irritating everyone with some dancing steps in the lifts as well. I was in a half sleep mood and I was awakened to the scream of my friend ‘Abey ee lifts Chal nahin raha hain..Sala..Kharab ho gaye..!!’ (Man..These lifts are not working. ). Then everyone investigated for what happened like a bomb disposal squad hunting for a time bomb. After so much of exploration, one of us found that the floor button was not pressed. We did not have energy at least to laugh for that.

And as we reached the flats at 3:00 A.M., I laid down and out on the bed till a call from home alarmed me to wake up. That was ‘A Day to Remember’

Post your valuable comments.

Cheers,
--DJ--

Kalam's speech in Hyderabad

2007-07-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad .Why is the media here so negative?Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, ourachievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into aself-sustaining, self-driving unit.

There are millions of such achievementsbut our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was thedayafter a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. TheHamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchidand a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. Thegory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we soNEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreignthings? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize thatself-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving thislecture,when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goalin life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her,you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. Indiais not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice isyours.

YOU say that our government is inefficient.YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits. YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him aface - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your Internationalbest. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay$5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of MahimCauseway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parkinglot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant ora shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore youdon't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head coveredin Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchangein London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'

YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph(88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and NewZealand .Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are stilltalking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign systemin other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be aninvolved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on thestreets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'Andthen the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect theofficers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressurein his bowels?In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go tothe polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative.

We expect thegovernment to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage allover the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathroomsbut we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food andtoiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service tothe public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related towomen, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing roomprotestations and continue to do the reverse at home.

Our excuse? 'It's thewhole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego mysons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of ourneighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and thegovernment. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along withour families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries faraway and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.

Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run toEngland . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight outto the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued andbrought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY' Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes orjunk mails.

Thank you,
Dr. Abdul Kalaam

This is Bangalore

2007-07-16T05:50:00.000-07:00

Technology on street..

A techie transfers fund for a penalty from his laptop ....

TV ADDICTION

2007-07-16T05:16:00.000-07:00

This is expected from only Indian Ladies

They cannot miss their favorite T.V. Serial even if there is flood, storm, gale or earthquake!! !!

Look at the expression of worry on helpless Husband's face near the door.

LOL

--DJ

Mind Boggler

2007-07-13T03:07:00.000-07:00

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keeptrying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you cannot.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it !!

Cheers,
-DJ

10 Most Stupid Questions

2007-07-13T02:11:00.000-07:00

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Cheers
--DJ

My Experiments at New castle - Office..Part1

2007-07-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

It was our first day at Newcastle. We had address of the office and we walked down tracing all possible clues from the sign boards and asking people whoever comes across. As we were walking on the foot path a car came swiftly and the woman asked us in a strong French accent.. ’Exxcuuse Mee..Dhu yyou Knoww Wwhere tthe cithy centhre Iis??’. I replied ‘pardon..’ (As I could not get a single word at first go). She started repeating the sentence. This time I bended towards her as far as I can so as to help her even though I am also new to the city. Having used all my listening skills, I understood the sentence as 'Excuse Me..Do you know where the city centre is?' and I answered ‘I do not know’. First week of office was cool as we compared everything with the scary hotel and soothed ourselves that the office is a better to option to stay.

It was our first day of the second week at Newcastle. We had a fast drive from our flat to the office which I felt more like I am playing NFS Underground game sitting beside the driver. Cold wind was breezing all along the way as we rushed to the office through the sparsely occupied Newcastle roads. He showed an amazing dexterity in driving while talking with me like all the drivers do from the last week. They all ask the same questions each day ‘Are you Alright?’ ‘How do you do?’ ‘How do you find Newcastle?’ ‘You enjoy the climate over here?’ and I respond with the repetitive and obvious answers again. Getting down at the office, Out of curiosity I asked him ‘Have you ever tried for Formula One?’. He replied smiling ‘ha ha..I wish to..’ and drove ahead .

As I felt the cold, fresh air outside, I recuperated myself and walked into the office. The receptionist greeted me warmly ‘Hi Daannnnujjay..How are you?’ (Killing my name to the fullest) and I moved on replying ‘Very Well..Thank you..’ again.

Unlike the Reading office, the one Newcastle one looks artistic but always deserted. I felt the lack of refreshments (You Know What!!) made me feel as if I am working in an abandoned government office. It is a old 19th Century English construction with the trademark high roof with the aesthetic carvings outside.

I feel the office like my home. Once I was unknowingly trying to open the entrance door with my Flat key until one of my colleagues came to me smiling and said ‘Dude..Try this at home..Not here..!!!’. Entering inside I found comforted myself in one of the cabins in an ergonomically comfort chair (As told by HR).

I had enough work till the afternoon but the cackles of a woman from behind me made me feel uneasy. She was talking of everything but work. She was pestering other colleagues to get them involved in the discussion of the 'Big Brother' show. Unable to bear this anymore I asked my friend sitting beside me in a loud voice ' Man...Where can buy some insulators for my ear? Iam afraid I may turn deaf after some days!!' He empathized with me and advised me to buy an apple i-pod beacause that can be the only saviour for me and also I can enjoy the music.

I followed his advise and bought one and now I can complete the day peacefully ignoring our 'LG Sound Master!!'

Some more details in the next post
…to be continued
Cheers

-DJ

Grandma In Court

2007-07-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment tome.You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bitpaper pusher.Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he wasa youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with threedifferent women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to theelectric chair."

LOL
--DJ--

My Maths Answer Papers

2007-07-12T01:35:00.000-07:00

Cheers,

-DJ

The Boss - A P J Kalam

2007-07-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm. His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today" The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him.

His wife asked him “Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about Children??" Wife replied "You don't know?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.

The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established. That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous. By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..? He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, President of India .

My Experiments at Newcastle - Pub City

2007-07-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

'Newcastle is the pub city of England'..These words from my colleague sounded hypocritical to me until I witnessed the level of enjoyment on the streets of Newcastle on a weekend.

That was our second weekend we were relocated from Reading, we were in low spirits because of the hotel experience and dreary environment at the office and it was the time to gratify ourselves. After one more boring day at the office we decided go on walk to our apartment walking as we can enjoy the scenic beauties on the 'Bright Day' of English summer. Particularly the scenes at the Newcastle University campus are always mesmerising. I wish I were a student there.

The way from our office to our apartment is boring till the university, but it will be very lustre from there. We were talking all the way about various topics which ranged from the city Library, new cooking recipes to the FYEO. As we were passing on the college way, we noticed two eternal lovers who were deeply, emotionally involved in love. There was no Star News or TV9 Channel over here otherwise this would have been on the latest news section and everybody would be severely condemning the issue (Including Me !!!).

As we moved down to 'High Street', it was more like a mela over there. It was a scuffle to move on the way as every inch of space was consumed. This is in total contrary to the situation on the weekdays as it would be rarely occupied.

There were guitarists all over trying to impress people (artistic way of begging..!!! and the minimum requirement for one to be a beggar here is that you should know how to play guitar..!!!), the shopping malls fully packed, some new restaurants distributing their free sample of food, people distributing the pamphlets of their pubs and some youngsters playing football callously in the same place. Some freaks were dressed in woman's garments (I don’t think this is a custom here!!!) and woman carrying 'balloons in unmentionable shapes'. It was the heights of a perverted mind. The police were ringing their sirens so loudly that it looked as if they are competing with the music in the pub which was sending waves all across the street and the posters say

'If you are too old to hear..Please do not enter!!!'

After a tiresome walk (some what blissful though..), we got ready to go and have a blast out there in the streets humming with a festive mood. As we were walking ahead to one of the pubs, we were amazed at the topographies..(You know what..???!!!) and people shouting out in their half drunken moods using all the possible 'f words' 's words' and ' b words' so arrogantly that even a monk from china would also be annoyed by them. It would be more shocking than amazing for any conformist like me who hail from the world of chanting and prayers.

Then we encountered a group of exasperated children ..(That is what we thought by their appearances) at the Eldon Square who were trying to intimidate us. There was one cute girl of about 12 years old who was winking at one of my friends and passing some comments. It is true that 'Appearances are deceptive'(At least in UK) ..otherwise why would a twelve year old girl trying to flirt a person twice older than her? One guy came to me briskly and asked in a callous manner 'Do you have Light??'. There were no words like 'Excuse Me' and 'please' in the sentence. Though it was annoying I felt it like 'This is some TV's hoax..like Just for laugh gags'. We replied 'Kid..First you go and buy a cigerrate!!’ .We passed on smiling at him as he stared at us.

We enjoyed ourselves well at the 'revolution' and returned to our apartments at 3:00 A.M. through the tightly packed arcades.

Please post your comments and experiences...

Cheers
-DJ

SQL Loader - Easy way of working with huge data.

2007-07-10T01:47:00.000-07:00

This post will surely be useful to we guys who had difficulty in using huge volumes of data. I would rather explain this with an example.

Suppose we have the data in Excel worksheet a 1000 rows and two columns. First column is a number and second one is a character.

Now If I have to analyse this data based on some tables and data on my database, It would be difficult for me to copy the huge data every time.

Instead I can have a temporary table to store this data, so that I can work on.This can be achived using the sqlloader.

It is simple and a nine step process ....

1) Create a temporary table (ex : create xxrpa_temp_tbl(sbi number,name varchar2); )

2) Copy the data from the excel sheet concatenated by a comma.
(a)Click on the funtion button beside the sort button in excel
b)select more funtions
c)from the list select concatenate
d)In the funtion arguments give appropriate Text1 and Text2 (In this case Text1 is A and Text2 is ',')
e)copy the concatenated data

3) Now, open a notepad and paste the copied data.

4)At the top of the note pad, just above the data we need to write

LOAD DATA
INFILE *
INTO TABLE xxrpa_temp_tbl
REPLACE
FIELDS TERMINATED BY ',' OPTIONALLY ENCLOSED BY '"'
(sbi
,name )
begindata

5) and copied data goes below this...

It would look like

LOAD DATA
INFILE *
INTO TABLE XXRPA_TEMP_REDEF_SBI
REPLACE
FIELDS TERMINATED BY ',' OPTIONALLY ENCLOSED BY '"'
(party_number
)
begindata
105186483,
105202187,

6) Now, save the file as

7)Go to Start> Run > Type cmd

8)When the cmd window is displayed, type

> sqlldr userid = userid/password@ control = \

Provide userid,password and the connect string of the database where you want to put the data in. The control should be given as full path\filename.ctl

(ex C:\DJ\Live\redef\control_file.ctl)

9) Press enter key after writing this command and the data will be put into the temporary data base table created.

PLEASE DO TRY THIS AT OFFICE AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE DISCOVERED ANYTHING.

If you knew this already, please post some more details on the comments section.
Others..Hope you find this helpful. You may mail if for any doubts..

Cheers
--DJ

2007-07-09T01:58:00.000-07:00

The Lie Detector
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?".

Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.

His dad told him "Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"

"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" , S-p-la-tt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot. " sorry dad..i lied again, honestly I went for an adult movie ."

Dad: "Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things." Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappan's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" ( After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.

My Experiments at Newcastle - DJ..The Dhaba

2007-07-05T05:34:00.001-07:00

'I dont know how to cook and I will never ever do!!'..This was what I used to say at home and to my friends. Even One of my cousins advised me that we need to cook for ourselves as we cannot adjust for the food habits abroad. But I did not take that words so seriously and soothed myself 'Iam not so finicky about food!! I have been in pilani and the person who manages to eat our college mess can eat any where!!! I can stay anywhere without any problem!!'

It was fine during the first ten days to eat outside ....which included bread (default) with a combination of any or all of vegetables,chicken,fish etc., and on our colleagues guidance we found Marks and Spencer as oasis in the bread desert where we could find some Desi Khana (Indian Food). We managed to eat there for another ten days, but its turning out to be costlier than what we thought.

We were allotted a flat with all facilities in. Then I thought I can start cooking for myself. I brought all my groceries walking all the way to and from Tesco in the drizzle. I have never used these Microwave,owen adn the dish washer and so I had to read all the manuals present before starting my cooking stint to avoid any disasters. I read them in so concentrated way that I could have become a 'Ten Pointer' if I have done the same way in my college exams.

I remembered every dish cooked at my home and we used eat at the restaurants in bangalore, but I had no idea of 'How to' make them. 'Easiest among all is to cook rice!' ..These words from my colleague inspired me to start with rice. I remembered the 2:1 ratio he has told me but was not whether which is 2 and which is 1. My roommate thought rather wisely and said 'rice absorbs water and grows in size..so I think we need to have more water than rice'..It was a good sign of a discovery and I did the same as he suggested.

If Iam successful in cooking rice, the rest will be a cakewalk as I have abundant amounts of pickles and puliogre mixes ( Indian Foods) carried all the way from home. It was a cooker hood with a touch pad and I didnot have to do so much of exercise truning it on and off. I kept the vessel on the hood and the 'hhhooooooooooohhooooooooooooo' cackle of himesh on the television diverted me. I abandoned the cooking spot and was enjoying myself viewing the scenic beauty outside untill I smelled something burning...actually it was the rice. I rushed to the kitchen and removed the vessel from the hood and it was more or less cooked properly(except it was totally burnt black at the bottom of the vessle).

Feeling proud of and inspired by my first successful cooking stint, I started preparing some dishes as well. Each time it was a disaster in its own way, but 'Failures are the stepping stones to success'. So Iam still on my cooking experiments inventing/discovering some new dishes also and advising the same to my bangalore counterparts also!!.

The recent one being 'Alu Matar Carrot Capsicum Dal'. Mail me if you want the recipe.

I also wish to open a Dhaba on the Sarjapur road, Bangalore with all my colleagues experienced in cooking. You may also apply for partnerships.

Post your invented/discovered recipes in the comments section.

Cheers,

-DJ

Happy Pils

2007-07-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

"You love someone
You marry someone else.
The one You marry becomes your wife or husband.
And the one You loved becomes the password of your mail id"
------------ ---
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
------------ ---
If someone says you are ugly, its ok, if someone says you are stupid, its ok,
If someone says you are genius slap him as tight as you can and say there
is a limit of kidding and you are now crossing the limit.
------------ ---
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
------------ ---
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
------------ ---
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter
speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut
------------------------

LOL
Cheers
-DJ

Power of Mind

2007-07-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

Accroidng to reasacrh taht was crraeid out by Cmabrigde Uinrevtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht odrer the ltteres of wrods are in as lnog as the frist and lsat leettr of ecah wrod is in the rghit palce. The rset of the ltteers can be in any oderr and sitll be raad and intreprteed corrcelty by msot popele wtih a suripsirngly hgih lveel of accruacy.

The hmuan mnid deosn't raed ecah leettr of a wrod, but iestnad sikms oevr tehm and raeds the wrod as a wlohe, as if it were a shpae or pttaern. The psoitoin of the frist and lsat ltteer are vatil in mikang a frmaewrok for the wrod's shape, but bteween tehm can be a cmeplote mses wothiut a lrage impcat on cemprehonsion. And wlihe taht may suond cmoptelely amzanig, if you urdenstood all tihs tehn you hvae jsut jioned in privong the phemonanel pewor of the hmuan mnid.

What I Want

2007-07-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

What I have is what I dont want

What I want is what I need

What I want is what I dont have

What the hell I want!!???(Don't try too much to understand wat i've scribbled... even I don't understand what I want and what I have ).

Untill now in my life I never thought of my strenghts and weeknesses ever seriously. If you have ever done so, Iam sure you are an exception. (Except the blah..blah.. to the interviewer who is bored at asking the same question again and again, but simply asks you just beacuse the company is paying him to do so..)

Now, these days Iam trying to understand all these concepts. Had I not been a software engineer, what would I be. A Sportsman? An Actor? A Politician? A professor? A Business man? A Fountainhead? A lexicographer? A mobile encyclopedia? A Writer? Again a student at BITS? . All of these professions fascinates me. It would be great if I can come out of all the shackles of material life to pursue all of my ambitions to the fullest.

I thought it would be helpful if I discuss the same with my friend. We were at the pub on the event of project success and normally these all discussions will be fruitful or may even turn dreadful at this juncture. So, I started the discussion saying ' What I want is really I don't have..I had an ambition of becoming a doctor, but I ended up in writing endless lines of code and fixing the bugs!!). And one of my friends answered 'Even If you were a doctor you would be doing the same ' Cutting the patient's body and stiching it..as we do it in fixing the bugs..''

I was overwhelmed by his understanding of the medico profession and as I was about to say my next point on the issue...my another friend said 'It all depends on your mentality..It varies from person to person..I may not like what you like and vice versa' . Though I thought this is a politically correct statement but its verymuch true too. The drinks went uncounted as we were discussing the topic eccentrically. (Had this been the Group Discussion at the accenture's recruitment process , I bet a hundred a pounds that none of us would be selected). Finally one my friend was pronouncing the conclusion and the final judgement listing out his opinion.

'We should set a high goal for ourselves'. Another shouted ...'Abbey paper,pen hain..main abhi set kartha hoon' ..(Buddy..do you have a pen and paper? I will set my goals right away..!!!). Everyone broke into a huge laughter.

'Think Big..'. Another comment 'Yeah..atleast as big as Chicken Burger at Burger King!!!..ha ha.

'Failures are the stepping stones to success'..Another sattire 'I would rather prefer a lift..Nowadays I cannot climb the stairs!!!.

'You should always be dreaming..' ..Another pull of a leg ' Yeah..from tomorrow we should start sleeping in office also!!!..ha ha ha'.

Everyone clapping in joy and saying in corus..'Ha Bhai..Sahi hain!!!...(Yes Bro..Thats correct!!)'

I recollect these words and sentences from the great books by great persons.Though I was also laughing heartily at the comments, but from the bottom of my heart I was still thinking that these words make sense..

But we tailor ourselves to the environment and pretend to be enjoying ourselves burying the latent talents, aspirations. We should be capable of making decisions on 'What we want'..If you are still confused like me do read the book 'Fountain Head by Ayn Rand' (I too got this advise yesterday and started reading it..).

Please post your valuable comments to set my goals..

Cheers

-DJ

Fun pix

2007-07-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

Arrangement for Engineers to commit suicide.

Lets go party tonight!!!

This is how you make your children eat and drink!!!

Twins

No..This is not my hair cut...Is that yours???

Wimble Not Done

2007-07-02T05:58:00.000-07:00

There I was walking amidst the crowd cheering me wearing my favourite and fashionable jersey. Now Iam one of the favourites for the Wimbeldon 2007. The years of hardwork and dedication to the sport is paying me now. Iam on cloud nine. People were fighting among themselves for my autograph. I greeeted the umpire and the worksmen at the court. I felt the arrogant air in the environment and kept remembering my strategy 'Play Well..Play Well..Play Well'.

I closed my eyes to keep calm,composed and memorised my past at once.It was a story of 15 years ago when I was a child of 8 years. I was as normal as anyone, but had a great passion for tennis. For me, Even watching action on television turn into a deeply personal affair. And, the emotion is something we wouldn't trade for all the world. I used to jump in excitement saying 'Oh..Thats a great shot..Nice one..Come on...Wow...wonderful...Yes...' .I adored Pete Sampras, the tennis legend so much and started to act like him.

It was wonderful and I was elated. My father got the tickets to watch a match at Wimbeldon as my birthday present. Pete was elagant as usual in his own way and his opponent's frustration made him win the game very early. I was observing his techniques of play, movement on the court and the impeccable serves.

Finally 'The Winner took it all as the looser stands small'. The opponent became one another mere spectator watching the spectacular show put up by the legend.

The match ended and the champion greeted the cheering fans by clapping the tennis racket. I rushed into the front lane in the blink of an eye and offered him my palm for his autograph. I still remember my father calling from behind 'Careful..Son..!!!' ,but I was the happiest in the world at that moment. He gave me his waist band for my anxeity and as I was staring at him in merriment. That autograph was the inspiration for me..That waist band was the inspiration for me as I joined the tennis academy a year after that day.

Life is not so easy and I too had to face many difficulties. It was rigorous practice, hardwork and committment towards the game that made me indispensable now. Now Iam going to face the defending champion in the final of the Wimbeldone. It has been a long journey for me to come to this stage and every step was counted.

And upon the voice of the umpire 'Ladies and gentleman...We are at the final of the Wimbeldone 2007..The match btween...' , I heard a grunting sound with heavy tapping of my bedroom door 'Abey Saale..time ho gaya.We cannot catch the train...(Buddy..Time is up ...We cannot catch the train..) . I suddenly woke up clearing my view. I felt the shadow of the blinds dappled on my face. It was my friend shouting outside as we have to leave for wimbeldon to see a third round match today and beacuse I had more than three rounds yesterday ,Iam lost in the 'final dreams' here.

I have been to reading all the way from Newcastle to meet my friends and to watch the match at Wimbledone. The day before, it was saturday and for the obvious reasons, I slept very late in the night. Iam not even a great follower of 'early to bed and early to rise' policy but the conditions made me so. As I came out of my bed rubbing my eyes and trying to fetch my spectacles lying somewhere on the floor, all of my friends expressed their angry in a friendly rather I can say sarcastic way like ' Yeah ..Federer will be waiting for our cheers before he start the play..we may start even late!!!' 'No Problem buddy.. You carry on with your sleeping...and keep dreaming about wimbledone!!' (But...This fellow was not there in my dream!! How come he know???).

I rose from the bed and moved to bathroom wih no attention to the comments of my friends. I made myself look tidy (somewhat !!!) and we all rushed to the railway station. As we were running..some of them jogging..people on the road looked at us as if we are running a marathon!! We got our tickets and boarded the train which was just stopped and waiting eagerly for the signal. The train was faster than wind, faster than witches and the insulation was so proper that you won't here any noise inside. But we had enough width of our mouths to create the noise as that of trumphet band on a marriage ceremony.

The whole compartment was moribund and everyone was as calm as a cattle affected with some endemic disease.You can understand the meaning of 'Pin drop silence' practically. But we are still unaware of that. We were chattering endlessly in our native language 'Hindi'. As we passed across a beautiful landscape on the way, one of my friends suddenly rose upto the window at the adjacent seats and started his exhibiting his photographic skills. The oldman sitting there couldnot help staring untill my friend requested the old man to take a photograph of all of us. He was very congenial.

It was a journey to remember but it was just for twenty minutes. On the way we saw one station's name written in punjabi...that was punjab da puttar's province..Southhall..We decided to visit this whenever we feel homesick or may be homeless !!! We got down the train, got the two for one entry coupons at the Paddington station and started discussing which match to attend. As I was still felling half sleepy, I kept silent as they discussed in a high pitch that a person sitting beside us went away for he couldnot here the announcement on trains!!!

I was interested in watching Federer playing and told them the same. But one of my friend was so keen on attending any '% ova' 's or '%williams' 's match and he kept on arguing that they play well and we have to acknowledge sports woman equally...(But you know thw reasons why he wants to...ha ha). As we finally decided on the match and was on our way to the tubes..we felt the cracking sound of hails. As we came out and checked it out it was a heavy rain that no player will opt even to practice in such weather. I cursed myself and my friends for loosing an hour of sleep..( Iam an ardent follower of 'A sleep of 8 hours or more a day would be good for health!!', excluding office hours..).

But we are still eager to watch the match at any cost. So as we decided to return having taken some snaps again at Paddington in different poses. So 'Wimble Not Done' ..our passion still exist and I will be back with the experience again...

Till Then Keep reading the blog and posting you comments.

Cheers,

--DJ--

My Experiments at Newcastle - Hair Cut Sir...

2007-07-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

For a born conservative like me spending 6.5£ ( x 85 INR) for a hair cut is a huge amount and I wanted to do this once a month. It has been two months and my hair has grown just like the grass on the English High Lands. So at last, I convinced myself to have a nice hair cut , my friend found out many shops in the city and we decided to go to the one near the 'Asian Shop' on the way to 'Gurdwara' .

It was the weekend and I had the free time too. On the way I was thinking of different hair styles and which one will suit me better. Finally we arrived at the saloon and were looking into the shop through the closed glass doors. As we were looking a lady came switfly and started sprinkling water on the glass doors. We were taken aback by her move and closed our faces with our palms as if she is spraying water on us. The lady came out and started asking in her own rhythmic 'English' way..'Are you comfortable ,Sir?'. Having heard the word 'Sir' we both looked back as if she is greeting someone else.

We set ourselves sedate to overcome the embarrasement and said 'yeah..yeah'. As we glanced into the shop we found none of the barbers is a male. I doubted if Iam just about to visit a Ladie sbeauty Parlour and started looking at the notices atatched on the walls. And my friend started telling me loudly ' Chalo yaar..ye tho ladkiyon kaa hain ...(Come Lets go..It seems this is for Girls)'. But I remembered my senior ,who stayed int his city last time told me that in most of the shops the barbers will be girls. Finally I was successful in convincing my friend that it is just hair and it does not matter whoever cuts it.

As we entered, a beautiful chinese girl came to us and asked us to wait some time as the other customers are in line before us. We were waiting for more than an hour and I completed reading the bunch of magazines word to word as my friend kept singing hysterically listening/hearing to ipod. It looked as if he has born with ipod in his hands and a loud speaker in his mouth. He was so loud that the lady urged him 'It would be grateful if you keep quite for a while'.

Atlast, by the god's grace as the lady called me, I felt as if she is asking me to be throned on the coronation day!!! And as I was about remove my speactacles I saw myself in the mirror with long hair and was smiling. The lady said ' Oh..thats a cool head of hair...and I will give you a better hair cut'. As she got armed herself for mowing the lawn..she asked 'What size do you want'. 'Size' again...!!! This time from the subway experience I thought rather intelligently and said 6. She said 'Oh ..That is cool..and cool....'and sprinkled a bottle full of water on my head. I felt it like a heavy down pour of rain in the thick forest.

She went on asking about me and telling about her, her boy friend and why he is here in UK..I tried hard to look at myself in the mirror and it was blurred as I have removed my spectacles . It was first time to have hair cut by a girl and it was cool.

She finished with the job and she looked tired having done so much of gardening work. I wore my spectacles smiling to see myself clearly in the mirror now. It was to my horror that the hair wa cut so short that there would be no need to comb it for five or six months. And she was asking me ' How is it now dear...?Isn't that really cool..? ' . I have no reactions left but to look at the heap of my black silky hair lying on the ground. Not to hide my emotions, I said 'It looks very short'..though I know she too does not have any option of growing my hair instantly. She replied with a big smile..'But that was what you asked for...Number 6...' as she returned me the change of £3.5

I thought what could have happened if I have told her from my subway experience 'Number 12'???. Thank God..I didnot do that..!!! I think Even the grass in the park cannot be cut to so depth with a lawn mower.With this experience I was about to tell my friend who was about to go ..but his ears were fully equipped with ear-phones so that even a storm cannot divert his attention.

I came to room passing my hand over my head again and again thinking of my long silky hair. I still have my old photographs to attest my identity if anyone fails to recognize me with this shaven head.

So the moral of the story is

'Size Matters'

'Be Precise in your measurements'

Please post your valuable comments so that I can make this blog more fun filled.
Cheers --DJ--

My Experiments at Newcastle - Sub 'Way'

2007-06-29T01:55:00.000-07:00

'Ladies and gentleman ...Here we are .. We will be arriving at Newcastle in ten more minutes..Please fasten your seatbelts..'....And that was the time when I woke up confusedly after having a 'deadly' Chicken Tikka sandwich (I belive it was this) and was sleeping. As we were travelling during the day time it was mesmerising beauty in the clouds. I had an excitement that Iam going to the pub city of England.

I was thinking for a while about all our adventures at Reading,London and our visits to Isle of Wight, Soho (Don't tell anyone..ha ha) and ofcourse the generally visited palces of London. I will be putting up all these experiences as the time shifts on..

And there in Newcastle a hotel was booked for us and it was very tough to stay in the hotel as it was like we had to clip our noses all the time. I went to the hotel staggering with my 23 + 7 kgs of luggage and asked the receptionist (She was good.. ) for the room booked on my name. She gave the keys and I can still remeber from the holes on that punched key that even oceans' eleven will have tough time in entering the room for a robbery. I would recommend RBI also to have such keys for all of its vaults. I was given a room on the third floor and as it would be a herculian task to carry the luggage, I asked her about the lifts. She replied in a gentle,sweet voice and with a present smile (I think she read many books like 'How to Influence people') "Iam afraid you need to carry them all the way, we donot have lifts here". And as we walk on the wooden floor with mammoth luggage we felt as if the earth under us is trembling.It was far from my imaginations that hotels in UK could also be like that one. It was three tough days to stay there (we used to spend most of our time outside) till we got shifted to another good one.

And again it was a tough time for food. Eat , Drink and Sleep Bread ..This was the only quote applicable for us as we were starving for roti and rice!!! ....Having seen the preachings of a huge bellied man on the Television, I opted not to become a 'Burger King' and went for eating something at 'Subway'.

It was for the first time I was visiting and I felt confused which one to choose and decided to stay calm and order whatever my friend orders. To my agony and humor, even my friend also had the same strategy and he kept serene staring at the cute girls who are smiling at us asking ...'May I help you?' ,'Are you Allright?' etc..
Finally I decided to order something and approached the counter with a smile.

Here goes the conversation between the Girl and Me:

M : Can I have some chicken sanwich..??

G: Please...

M: Yeah I would be pleased to have that...(I didnot recognize at that moment that she was aksing me to say 'please ' on courtesy grounds).

( Add Please and Thank You after or every sentence you speak..Some topup words may be So Nice of You..Great..Cheers...Fantastic..Brilliant..Awesome..You have done a great job...and some more adjectives)

G: How many inches??
M : I was baffled/astonished/amused/bewildered by that question and thought myself ..(What and why the hell do you want me to measure to get a sandwich).
and asked her in return What are all sizes available???

G : 6' and 12' ( Hmmm...I was about to say 8 inch.. :-D )
M : 6'

G : What salads would you like on that?
M : As I was about to answer the question..My friend suddely said yeah..yeah....
I had to keep quite...Having empathized with us and she added every eatable stuff on to it.

G : What sauce would you like to have??
M : Again yeah..yeah..from my friend....and I got 'sauce' part of the question and said 'No Thanks'

G : This is your sandwich sir...Thanks for visiting..
M : Grabbed the sandwich saying 'Thank You..Madam'..

Then I realised I have to clean up my filthy mind...May be this is because of the place Iam in....I advise you too do the same for yourself...ordered a sandwich, had it and left for the hotel.
The day was a hectic one and I would like to sleep early so as to share my Work experiences with you tomorrow.

Please post your valuable comments so that I can serve the sandwich more
fun-filled.

Cheers
--DJ--